A Deliberate Mind Turned Spontaneous For A Day

I continue my attempt to convince my wife the longer we stay married the more her thinking will be transformed to my likeness in thought. I don’t think I am doing a very good job at convincing her of this, but that’s our secret (shhhhhh).

I mentioned in previous posts that I am a left-brain thinker – as my wife is totally, right brained! I have to admit, I have struggled for years trying to keep-up because my wife can drop (anything) nearly instantaneously and change directions without the slightest hesitation. For those of you who are also left-brain thinkers – you know this drives you crazy. Whether the change in direction is large or small, there are adjustments to be made…..right?

Well, before I go on, I would like to confess to three things right here and now:

1. It is becoming increasingly obvious I have not convinced my wife of anything...
2. I am convinced she will not ever be convinced to think like a L.B.....
3. I can't believe I actually did something spontaneous, pretty major at that.

Just recently, both my wife and I were getting a bit stir-crazy from the unusual winter we've had and decided to take a week and go to Florida. Although we have traveled to Florida on many occasions, we had never traveled during the winter, so we felt this trip would be a nice respite and a beta test of sorts. Additionally, we planned for this trip to be fairly inexpensive due in part to the three days remaining on our Disney Passes from two years prior.

As I began to plan the travel arrangements (2 months) prior to our departure date, things seemed to have fallen into place. I need to mention however, my Mother-In-Law and a family friend also traveled with the three of us.

Sidenote: Some of you are probably thinking horrible things by now regarding In-Laws...stop it....I love my Mother-In-Law as we have gotten along from day one, over 23 years ago. She travels frequently with my family...it's cool.

We fly to Orlando, by the way, we departed from 27 degree temperatures - arriving in 83 degree weather...you see why we were stir-crazy? We settled in, got the lay of the land then on the fourth day my deliberate life as it were, took a dramatic change!

While in Florida in a casual conversation at dinner, I mentioned I would love to visit Miami one day. For in all of our visits to Florida, we had never been to Miami. Quickly, all of the right-brain thinkers in the room said "let's go"! I quickly replied that it would not work because a trip to Miami was not a part of our scheduled itinerary and we can not fit it into the schedule. On the fourth day of our trip, a visit that was in fact on our itinerary was to visit friends in Port St. Lucie, Florida.

At approximately 8:00 pm Wednesday evening we decided to travel back to Orlando. For some odd reason, a trip to Miami resurfaced once we loaded back into the car. This time I was absolutely, positively against going to Miami for the following reasons:

1. A trip to Miami was not scheduled
2. It was 8:00 pm and my Mapquest directions were to lead us back to Orlando
3. I didn't have a change of clothes, to include a change of underwear (yikes)
4. I wear contacts, with no cleaning / soaking solution nor a contact case
5. We have no place to stay for the night
6. and lastly, I didn't know where the heck I was going

As this conversation kept going and going, I, at the same time, was trying to navigate to the correct exit which was the Florida Turnpike North exit. As I pulled away from paying the toll, while talk of Miami had persisted, I mistakenly got on the Florida Turnpike South exit. Immediately all of the right-brain thinkers in the car burst into a euphoric laugh....including my son, who before that point, I thought was on my side.

Everyone was chanting, "keep going, keep going" as I was saying "where is the next exit"? With no exits in sight for what seemed an eternity - we finally see a mile marker indicating Miami was 101 miles - if I were a balloon, I would have been bursted!

The long of it is, I had no choice but to succumb to the pressures of continuing on to Miami while thinking, "this is absolutely crazy." After rehearsing all of the above reasons why we should not have done this, my wife is telling me, not asking me, to give her my Hilton Honors card so she can find us a hotel....but boy am I glad she did! And boy did we find a hotel!!!

We arrived in Miami at approximately 10:15 pm. The reservations were for the Grand Miami overlooking Biscayne Bay! But there is more. Because there were 5 in our party the only accommodations the hotel had was a simple two bedroom 2000 square feet condominium (LOL). Absolutely wonderful!

Early the next day my wife and I went shopping (to take care of the underwear and clothing thing), we then headed for South Beach.

I have to be honest and say that this epiphany to go to Miami was one of the best times I have every had...and it wasn't planned - imagine that.

I took lots and lots of photos while on our trip. In my About Me posting is one of the many sunrise photos. Embedded below are several other original photos. This trip afforded me both a wealth of experience and was truly good for my health.

Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say....

To be honest with you, I do not know where or when I first heard this statement, but I will tell you, it is as profound now as it was when I heard it for the first time.

I cease to be amazed at the nonchalance and cavalier approach to the conversations, commitments, and would-be arrangements that quickly go-bust. Why do we say things we don't mean or intend to follow through with? Is it merely a lack of commitment; difficulty telling the truth; protecting the feelings of others; or is there just not much thought at all to what we say?

One thing I am confident - and that is there are a myriad of reasons, depending upon whom you speak with.

Personally, I have always been the type of guy who has been and remain to be slow to commit. If you ask my wife, she would tell you that I am extremely slow to commit. Now, before you begin to judge me (smile), my slow to commit persona is based upon me being an analytical and pragmatic thinker.....it all has to have a purpose, make sense, and be to the good of the process; simply put in my wife's terms....left brained!

In part, I attribute making a conscious effort to holding-true to my commitments to being left brained; however, I must say my primary reason is because it simply is the right thing to do! It's all about Integrity.

Over fifteen years ago, I saw a picture that really spoke to my heart as I felt this picture truly described who I am and what I believe.

The setting: In the foreground is a huge oak tree with its roots exposed standing tall immediately adjacent to a river. In the background there is a mountainous landscape. The title is THE ROOTS OF CHARACTER and it reads..

THOSE WHO PRESERVE THEIR INTEGRITY REMAIN UNSHAKEN BY THE STORMS OF DAILY LIFE. THEY DO NOT STIR LIKE LEAVES ON A TREE OR FOLLOW THE HERD WHERE IT RUNS. IN THEIR MIND REMAINS THE IDEAL ATTITUDE AND CONDUCT OF LIVING. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING GIVEN TO THEM BY OTHERS. IT IS THEIR ROOTS....IT IS A STRENGTH THAT EXISTS DEEP WITHIN THEM

-ANONYMOUS NATIVE AMERICAN

Recently I had a conversation with my 7 year old son about this very topic of: saying what you mean and meaning what you say - this subject came up because he had asked if we could go out and get a pizza - I told him I would think about it and get back to him at a later time. As he persisted, he then said to me that I had (promised) him we would get pizza. I told him two things:

1. Not only did I not promise him we would go out to get pizza, I had not committed at all at that point.
2. I then told my son I had not used the word "promise" for over twenty years.

Aaron asked me "why not"? I replied by telling him if you truly commit yourself to something and more importantly follow through with that commitment, you have already made a pledge or promise. Once that pledge has been made, there is little need to reaffirm it.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Reflections, Part 2: Listening Is Good For Ones Health

Most everyone has heard the old adage, “God gave us two ears and one mouth for a particular reason” however, how many of us actively practice listening twice as much as we speak?

For me, this has been an ongoing struggle that I continually strive (daily), to improve upon. Admittedly part of my problem with this issue, as I described in my About Me piece is that I have a lot to say. Quite frankly, if you have a lot to say….you should be able to say it, right?

In my continued quest to overcome this flaw of mine – I have recently noticed something interesting that you as the reader probably already knew…call me slow, but I recently realized when two people are (listening or not speaking) at the same time, there is no exchange of information; similarly if two people attempt to talk at the same time, again there is very little to no information exchange. So why do we try to talk at the same time? I asked my wife this very question – after about 2 minutes of laughter, she agreed that I have a lot to say, she then walked away from me (sigh). But, there is hope ladies and gentlemen.

About two years ago, I was introduced to a strategy that has been extremely helpful due in part this strategy takes a lot of discipline in order for it to be effective.

The Strategy: A piece of paper that has the words – “I (person name) promise to listen to your words intently and without interruption for 2o minutes or when you yield the floor, whichever occurs first.”

The listener must sign the agreement and honor it. At which time the speaker yields, the speaker then becomes the listener following the same instructions as above.

The results have been amazing, especially with regard to the time in which resolution is achieved. No more long drawn-out disagreements seemingly lasting forever when half the battle was ones attempt to be heard due to both parties speaking at the same time.

Not only will your two ears aide in listening twice as much as you speak, your ears will also aide in resolving a disagreement twice as fast…what a bargain, huh?

Reflections, Part 1: What Do "You" See

More and more it appears this society we live in has regrettably propagated the mind-set of extreme competitiveness, peer pressure and an overall environment of (keeping pace with the Jones’).

In reading many accounts and perspectives calling this a “Me” society; I beg to differ – instead calling this a “Them” society. You see, the mindset of keeping-up with…, having more than…, wanting more than…and beating the competition focuses more attention on others than oneself.

This phenomenon reaches many levels, from the very simplistic to the intensely complex. Why is it we are so compelled to stay ahead of the competition? Do we really know who the competition is? Please allow me to cite a few examples that you may or may not have noticed.

Have you ever noticed when one of the neighbors begins to cut the lawn after a few days of rain? You guessed it; several of the other neighbors begin cutting their lawns. (Not in your wildest dream would you allow their lawn to look better than your own). Or, there has been a three or four day drought, everyone’s lawn is getting brown and crunchy and one person drags the water hose out – then the chain reaction begins. This (competitive edge syndrome) will even drive one to unnecessary debt such as in the case where someone purchases a new vehicle, within weeks; you notice temporary license plates throughout the entire neighborhood?

Further, I have seen colleagues purchase or build a new home and shortly thereafter the rebound effect occurs – other colleagues will follow suit by purchasing or building larger homes just to stay ahead.

This is a first installment of a series of thoughts; and hopefully dialogue with you surrounding Reflections. The above examples are defined patterns of (reactive) reflections based upon consideration and contemplation of what others are doing around us. In this case “You” see others advancing, thus propelling “You” into a reactive state of competition.

The keeping pace with the Jones’ mindset would come to an abrupt stop if the Reflections “You” saw / see appeared in a mirror or other reflecting surface thus focusing the attention to oneself, ones capabilities, aspirations, etc.

To this end, “You” would drive ones energies and direction on self development and determination resulting in a more productive and less competitive frame of mind. Keep in mind however one can compete with oneself; this is simply called “drive.”

If the person “You” see in the mirror conducts oneself with uprightness, while working within a self-driven structure and framework, I am of the opinion “You” would be much happier….and less stressed!

Some people truly believe “The grass is greener on the other side.” I leave you for now to contemplate this thought; and please respond by sharing your thoughts.

“The grass may in fact be greener on the other side” but as you are tempted to (keep pace with the Jones’) please consider “If the grass is in fact greener on the other side, understand the water bill is much higher as well.”

Please tell me what you think! I look forward to hearing from you.

About Me

Hello, my name is Keith Battle and I welcome you to my newly created blog....Mere Utterance! I am a simple yet complex type of guy who has a driving - passion for personal health, family wealth, consumer protection and uprightness.

It is my "hope" I will stay-on-task, writing on topics surrounding each of the aforementioned topics; however, I may stray a bit from time to time but ask you stay with me because I have a lot to say!

Generally speaking when one hears the word (health) one typically equates this word with the physical. I am of the strong opinion the true connotation of (health) includes mental, emotional, spiritual and social relationships. Further, when (wealth) is mentioned one typically equates this word with finances. Again, the augmented definition of (wealth) in my opinion would include mental, emotional, spiritual and social relationships.

I could go on and on but think you see the synergistic theme.

In closing, I ask that you respond, give opinion, agree, or disagree with my content, but ask that you do it with professionalism.

I look forward to hearing from each of you.